Tuesday, 23 March 2010

My First Computer

I am currently in the middle of an eBay induced nostalgia trip. In a couple of days my brand new Amiga 1200 will be arriving along with 2000 games installed onto a Flash hard drive.

I'm very impressed that you can interface modern technology with an almost 20 year old piece of hardware. For the non techies out there it's a bit like putting a NOS Kit in a Model T Ford.

All this nostalgia for the Amiga then got me thinking about my first ever computer. Sadly it wasn't a Spectrum or a Commodore. Oh no! In my family we had an Acorn Electron! A quick search on eBay informs me that I can pick up this massive pile of shit for £16!


I was tempted to buy it but then I realised that maybe some things are best left as memories. Just looking at this photo makes me angry. That 'Start Programming with the Electron' book was my first ever introduction to coding. I spent weeks copying out code from that book, saving it onto a casette, getting all excited to see how my hard work would finally pay off, and then Boom!

'Syntax Error'.

Oh well, never mind all that. I bet the graphics were good...


What the fuck?!... And this was my favourite game! Actually the only annoying thing about Positron was that the programmer 'Gary Partis', added his own name to the high score table. Fair enough, but he gave himself the ridiculously unbeatable score of 999,999,999! Meaning that despite hours of playing this stupid game I always came second.

Perhaps Mr Partis was trying to teach the 10 year old me a life lesson. Something along the lines of 'Don't bother kid, there's always someone better than you... and in this instance it's me'.

Another fun game my 10 year old brain could never understand.


Actually, more confusing than Business Games was the trippy 'Escape from Moonbase Alpha'.


The aim of the game was to wander from room to room stealing bags of Gold whilst avoiding a series of blatant copyright infringing monsters. There was Marvin the Robot who would bore you to death. The wicked witch of the west who could turn you into a Frog... and a fucking Dalek!

And if it all got a bit too much you could take a Hulk Pill.


I wish Hulk Pills were real. I would so smash Gary Partis.

Friday, 19 March 2010

Zombie Killers

It's been ages since I filmed a sketch so I'm thinking about making another one. Here's a quick idea that I came up with today, It's probably a bit too Shaun of the Dead but ignore that!

I mainly like the idea of filming this sketch because it means I'll get to make-up one of my friends as a Zombie!

Comments and criticisms are welcomed as always!




INT. LIVING ROOM

Two men who look like they've been in a fight, a Zombie is tied to a chair struggling.  Steve is finishing tying the knot.  Alan is holding a Cricket Bat.

STEVE
Well we can't have a Zombie living in the house.  You're gonna have to kill him.

ALAN
I'm not killing him!  He's my best mate.

STEVE
I thought I was your best mate?

ALAN
Yeah... you are.  Or will be, as soon as you bash his brains in.

ZOMBIE DAVE
Braaaiiins!

Alan hands Steve the Cricket Bat.

STEVE
I'm not doing it!

ALAN
Oh Come on!  You're always complaining about him stealing your Vimto and, uh... never doing the washing up!

STEVE
Yeah... and it's his turn again.  But killing him for that seems a bit harsh!  Oh!! And what about that fifty quid he owes you?  That's a good enough reason for you to want to mash his Melon in.

ZOMBIE DAVE
Meeelllooon!

Steve hands Alan the Cricket Bat.

ALAN
That's true.  Oh hang on!

Alan reaches into Zombie's pocket and pulls out a mobile phone.

ALAN
I'll flog his Phone on Ebay then we're all quits.  So it's back on you with your Vimto vendetta.

ZOMBIE DAVE
Viiieeenetta!!

Alan hands Steve the Cricket Bat.

STEVE
Hmmm.  I didn't want to have to tell you this but, the other day... I, uh, caught Dave groping your Nan.

ZOMBIE DAVE
(Normal Human Voice)
No you didn't!

ALAN + STEVE
Dave?!!!

ZOMBIE DAVE
Oh, uh look.  It's a miracle, I'm all cured... and... stuff.

ALAN
Did you just pretend to be a Zombie to get out of doing the washing up?

ZOMBIE DAVE
Yeah, sorry lads.

Steve runs at Dave with Cricket bat raised above his head, swings down and smashes his head.

STEVE
Aaaargghh!!